take time to connect
Vacations are the perfect time to get together and maximize quality time together! This objective is to take full advantage of these special moments to connect emotionally and physically.
In my practice, I often witness on a daily basis the positive impact that time devoted to one’s couple can have on a relationship.
Today, I’d like to share with you some tips on how to strengthen your bond and feel closer to each other. On vacation yes, because you have more time, but ideally keep this little routine going all year round ??
DISCONNECTED : days and evenings without screens (at all) for an evening (or several evenings) and concentrate solely on each other. Cook together, put on some music, dance, have an aperitif, read books together, enjoy precious moments of conversation and complicity. In the hyper-connected world we live in, it’s easy to get distracted by the incessant notifications we receive on our phones. Give yourself these phone-free times and concentrate fully on these precious moments.
Treat yourself to little things: they make all the difference, and above all they’re the starting point for a beautiful emotional and physical connection. Prepare a surprise breakfast in bed, go back to bed after breakfast (the dream), leave little love notes. Relaxation = quality time together = connection = real quality time together
Share activities: Try as much as possible to plan activities that will allow you to have fun and connect at the same time. Go hiking, biking, kayaking or other outdoor activities that allow you to explore together. These experiences strengthen your bond and do so much good.
Learn together… Tantra: Explore new horizons by learning something new for your couple’s intimacy, I call it… tantra (a great way to bring awareness back into your actions and your couple). Not only will this enable you to spend quality time together, it will also strengthen your complicity. And togetherness means connection, and connection means wanting to be together – a virtuous circle!
3 Tantra initiation exercises
Look at yourself (the eye-gazing technique)
This practice can create a deep sense of intimacy and fusion, and is a great way to start or end your day!
– Sit opposite each other, close enough for your knees to touch, and look into each other’s eyes.
– Concentrate on just one eye. It doesn’t matter whether it’s your left or right eye, and it’s not possible to focus on both eyes at the same time.
– Now try to keep in touch with that eye.
– Try not to direct your thoughts at the person in front of you, but at yourself.
– Watch your body language: are you relaxed, or are your shoulders and stomach tense? Are you playing with your fingers? If so, try to relax the contracted parts.
–Next, focus on your breathing: are you just breathing into your ribcage, or down into your belly? Slow down your breathing. This will automatically make you think more slowly.
What do you feel in your body? Do you feel any emotions or sensations in your body? What are you thinking about during the exercise? Do you judge the person in front of you? Can you open up to them? Are you trying to read or influence them? Are you able to stare without thinking about anything else? If not, you need to ask yourself what’s stopping you. Is it fear? If so, of what? Is there anything you can do to counter this fear?
The longer you make it last, the better. You can extend it to 20 minutes or more if you like. But to start with, 5 minutes is more than enough.
Then tell the other person what you felt, your sensations: both in your interoceptive system, and in your exteroceptive system, your emotions, fear, stress, embarrassment, desire to laugh, shame, well-being, amusement, love…
Breathe together
Lie side by side, facing each other, and synchronize your breathing. Breathe in and out together, concentrating on the harmony and unity of your breaths. This practice will help you create a deep connection and stimulate the sensual energy between you!
Massage yourself
Take time to massage each other, using scented oils or lotions. Explore different parts of your partner’s body with love and attention. This can promote relaxation, arousal and physical intimacy.
Don't forget that taking time for your couple is a precious investment in your long-term happiness ??
All that’s left for me to do now is to wish you all the very best for your vacations. Remember that the journey is as important as the destination, and that these precious moments can strengthen your relationship and allow you to grow as a couple. Take advantage of these vacations to chat, catch up and cuddle, and create memories that will last a lifetime.
The author
Article written by Gabrielle Adrian, sexologist and couple therapist. Founder of Hello Hédoné, she offers guidance in sexology and couple therapy for a conscious and positive intimacy centered around listening to oneself, the other, pleasure and sensuality.
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